Happiness.

I closed my eyes. "You're just saying that to make me feel better." I whispered, shaking slightly as more tears blurred my vision. I pulled my head back slightly to look at him. "I should've known I wasn't good enough. My mother always told me I wasn't.. and she was right. Bianca is better than me... Dante sees it and wants it.. I'm just sorry you got hurt because I wasn't enough for my husband."

God, this felt so right, but I knew it was wrong. Why did I want him so badly. Why was he making it so easy for me to want him like this? I whimpered, pushing him away, hating that my guilt was once again wracking me, but this time, it was making me push Dante away, not my husband... This was what I was supposed to do, right? I'm a married woman. "Dante... Oh, fuck!! I want you, oh, I want you!" I closed my eyes tightly, forcing the rest to come out. "But you know we can't do this..."

I shook my head, lifting her face to look at me by her chin. "You are more than good enough. It's him who's not good enough for you. You're ... God, you're the most amazing woman I've ever met. Perfect in every way. And despite what we just saw, there isn't anything I would rather do right now than kiss you."

"I..." My lip trembled, my heart tightening. "I... Jackson... it's not right to use each other as a way to hide the pain of such a betrayal by doing the same thing." I let my hands move up his arms, touching his shoulders. "I can't let you use me for this and I can't use you.. it's not right." I sighed. "I don't wanna ruin our friendship.." I sighed when my feet started aching. "We'll you just walk me to my room? My feet are killing me.."

"Damn it..." I grumbled, my shoulders slumping. "I'm so fucking hard right now..." I knew I should think about how fucking terrible this was.. but I couldn't. Jesus I could. I wanted this so badly. It was consuming every inch of me. I shook slightly, taking a step back.

I nodded my head. "Yeah, come on. And I'll stay with you until the fuck bunnies decide to crawl their way back up to the cabins." I wrapped my arm around her, leaning my head over against hers as we walked. "But you know," I spoke softly so barely even she could hear me. "If I kissed you, and I wanted to do it to pay them back, I wouldn't do it in secret. If I wanted to kiss you, I'd kiss you because I wanted to and not for revenge."

there wasn't anything more I wanted than for him to forget what I had just said and pound me up against the door. "I've done everything I can think of to fix things between Jackie and me and you and A. Ever since our first kiss... I pushed Jackie away after, and it was wrong of me... I love him, Dante, and I know you love A... despite how badly we want each other right now," I said, lifting my hand, running my fingers through his hair, "we'll hate ourselves in the morning if we go through with this." I hated being the voice of reason, and considering how drunk I was, I'm amazed I was being it.

I captured her hand in mine, sighing. "You're right but you need to stop touching me if you want to convince me." I kissed her knuckles, sighing against her fingers. "Jesus... I can't... I know this is wrong... and I know I'll hate myself... and I have before but I can't stop thinking about you.. about this right here."

I turned my head sideways to look at him, smiling. "Well, it's good to know at least someone wants me." I hugged his arm and came to a stop outside my room with Dante. "I feel like all of this is a dream... a really bad dream." I opened my door and walked in leaving it open for him. I flopped down on the bed, tugging my shoes off and tossing them aside. My feet ached. I started rubbing my own feet as I stared at the floor. "You think they've had... sex?"

I swallowed, closing my eyes and enjoying the feel of his hands holding mine, and the feel of his breath on my skin. "I know... I thought I was able to forget it," I told him, opening my eyes and looking up at him, "but I know now I never will... I don't know what we're going to do about it, Dante, but I know neither one of us want to hurt Jackie and A."

"Damn," I said, shutting the door and walking over to lay down on the bed beside her, staring up at the ceiling. "I didn't even think about it until just now." I threw my arm up over my head, letting the inside of my elbow come down to rest over my eyes. "Fuck! The way they were holding each other... I wouldn't doubt..." I trailed off, putting two and two together. "How do you know when your lover is having an affair?" I asked, not expecting an answer because I was going to give it to her. Turning my head, I looked over at her. "One, your sex life increases. Two, it ceases all together..." I shook my head. "I seriously didn't put two and two together until this very moment. I think they've been fucking each other since we were in the hospital..." I seriously couldn't believe how blind I was. And all the time, the truth was staring me in the face.

"Oh, God..." My eyes burned with tears. "I lost my baby and all they've been doing is having sex this entire time? Why... oh Jesus why did she have me get pregnant with your baby all the while fucking my husband?" I buried my face in my hands. "God this sucks so bad... I want to go back there and scream and yell... but what does that do? The feel bad and then what.. shit goes back to normal and we constantly worry about what they're doing alone?" Dante had been weird... how had I not seen it? "Oh, God.." I pulled my knees up to my chest and wrapped my arms around my legs. "I'm sorry, Jackson..." I wasn't sure why I was apologizing to him. But I was.

"No... no.. of course not... but... Jesus can't you feel how badly I want you right now? As wrong as it is? I can't control myself. I want you. Bad." I let her hands go and sighed. "I know this is wrong but I just... Jesus all of this just blows!!! We can't ignore it... it doesn't go away... and we can't give in to it cause we'll feel bad.."

I sat up, wrapping my arms around her, kissing the side of her head. "You have nothing to be sorry for. It's them who are at fault. Not you. Not me. No one but them. I really think everything she's been doing this last month or so has been to make up for things. Over compensation for fucking us over. She's always been coldhearted and selfish. I always tried to look past it because I love her, but... I don't know how I can look past it now... Not after..." I sighed, holding her in my arms, not wanting to let go. She needed the comfort, and to tell the truth, I did as well.

I let my head drop, wishing I could just forget the pain we'd cause A and Jackie and just do it. Looking up at him, I stepped closer to him. "Tell me what you want... Deep down. Do you want to fuck me, right here, against this door? Do you want me to scream out your name, letting you know just how good you would be making me feel? OR, do you want to go upstairs and make love with your wife? Do you want to keep the woman you love happy?"

"Don't ask me that." I told her whispering heavily, my hands smoothing over her back. "Because it's not fair... I mean would you want me asking if you want me to slam you up against this door and fuck you silly or do you want to go upstairs and make love to your husband?"

I laid against him, silently crying as I held him tightly. "I'm sorry." I know he told me not to be sorry but all I could get out was those two words. I looked up at him, my face broken, wet with tears and my red with new tears. "I'm so sorry. You don't deserve this anymore than I do. I'm so sorry." I whimpered as sobs hit me again and I started crying harder against his chest.

I lifted my arms, wrapping them around his neck, hugging him. "I'm sorry, Dante!" I kissed the side of his neck, pulling back from him. "I'm going to walk out this door, and we're going to go back to the way things were even earlier today." I gave him a soft smile before turning and unlocking the door.

I held her in my arms, just wanting to lay back with her here in my arms. We needed to comfort each other. We needed each other right now. She had become my best friend over the last several months that we've known each other, and I only wanted her to feel better. I'd feel better once I made Dante and Bianca feel what they'd made us feel tonight. "Just rest, bab... Abigail. Just rest."

"I have you... that's enough for me." I mumbled hiccuping. "I'll be okay because I have you." I admitted, my eyes slipping shut, exhausted from the day and especially from the last ten minutes. "Thank you for being here... we'll figure out what to do tomorrow." I mumbled, my eyes getting heavy.

I reached my hand out to stop her and pulled back, my shoulders slumping. "Goodbye, Bianca..." I said weakly, stepping back a few steps. I couldn't go back to the room. Not yet... I wasn't sure when.. but not yet... I turned my eyes back to her watching her. Why did my head have to cloud my heart? Why?

I nodded my head, kissing the top of hers. Letting my fingers run through her hair, I relaxed there with her. I was sure Bianca and Dante would be a while, fucking in whatever corner they could find, so I found no harm in laying here with Abigail, if only for a little while.

I walked out the door and headed for the table the four of us had been sitting at. I didn't feel like dancing anymore. I grabbed my purse and noticed A's still there on the table. Picking it up as well, I decided I'd take it to her in the morning and I headed up to the cabin. Jackie was more than likely still in the casino, so I was going to take a bath and go straight to bed.

I watched Bianca leave and after washing my face off with very cold water, and breathing in and out a few times I felt better and went off to the casino so I could gamble my troubles away. I just hoped I wouldn't run into Jackson.. not when I was feeling this bad..

"You deserve the world, Jackson Frost." I whispered before falling asleep against him. I was still wearing my dress but I didn't care, I was content, relaxed and just plain exhausted and sleeping in his arms felt right... natural.