She has to be alright! What about the baby?

Carly called my cell phone just after I'd woken up. I hadn't ended up staying the night at the hotel. I couldn't stay there, not when it was supposed to be Abigail and me staying there and it was just me by the time she left. I jerked off and took a shower before leaving, calling a cab back to the stadium, and then I headed home.

I didn't know what time it was when she called. I hadn't looked at the clock yet. I had just started a pot of coffee when my phone went off. I left the coffee brewing and threw on my clothes before heading straight for the hospital. On the way there, my phone went off again. I didn't answer it. I wasn't caring about anything but getting to Abigail.

Running in the hospital, I went straight for the emergency room. I saw Abigail standing there with the limp noodle. I couldn't help but feeling smug, knowing that Abigail had been ready to stay the night with me at the hotel last night. But that didn't matter right now, even if I did want to rub it in his face.

The only thing that mattered was Abigail and the baby. "How is she, Little One?" I asked Carly, not even acknowledging Guido. "What happened?" I swear to God, if this was the Goomba's fault, I would kill his motherfucking ass. "Have they told you anything yet? Where is she?" I looked at the room next to us and back to her, asking again, "What happened, Caroline?"

The more I stood there, my foot bouncing like crazy the more sick my stomach felt. This was my fault. If I hadn't came running to Jeff, if I hadn't slept in his bed.. if.. God so many if's and now she or the baby could be hurt. I heard Jackson and turned to see him. He was panicked. In a different way than Jeff. Jeff was the strong silent type that let worry dance in his eyes, Jackson let worry jump off his entire body in waves. But I could clearly tell both were falling apart at the seams. Like I was.

"I don't know." I told Jackson after he asked me a third time what happened. "I mean I do. She saw me and Jeff together, got the wrong impression and ran off, I chased after her to explain and she was at the bottom of the steps. I'm left to assume she fell." I brushed a tear away and saw a nurse coming. She told us Abigail was asleep and that she had a nasty bump on her head and a broken wrist but she was okay. She also told us they weren't sure about the baby. Not till they did an ultrasound.

She said one of us could go see her in room 303, where she was sleeping, but only one at a time. I took a shaky breath as she left, thanking God above she was okay.. I just hoped to the heaven's so was her baby. "Who's going first?" I asked the boys. "I can wait." I rubbed my chest, trying to calm my racing heart.

I wasn't sure how long we had been waiting before Jackson came in, like a hurricane as usual, bursting into the room like he owned the place. I didn't have something against him, the way he had against me, but he was very overbearing to say the least. I stood back as Carly told Jackson what had happened, what we were sure had happened, since neither of us had actually seen her fall. Jackson didn't want to speak with me anyhow.

A nurse came up, telling us how Abigail was and that they still needed to do an ultrasound on the baby in order to find out how he or she was. The nurse said one of us could go in to see Abigail and I looked at Jackson after Carly said that she would wait. I wanted to be the one to go in first, but I knew Jackson wouldn't go for that. He'd toss me to the curb, running past me if I tried to see Abigail first. So I took the higher road and stepped up beside Carly, wrapping my arm around her. I knew she needed comfort right now, and Jackson would not be of any comfort to her waiting here with her. He was too selfish.

"Go ahead, Jackson. Carly and I will stay here and wait." I rubbed Carly's arm, holding her against my side. Jackson looked over at me, his gaze cold and full of anger, as if he blamed me for what had happened. I know it was because I had spent the night with Carly that was the cause for Abigail being upset, but I did not push her down the stairs. Jackson, I'm sure, would argue and say that I may as well have. Jackson turned his attention back to Carly, telling her he would be back before turning and running off toward Abigail's room. I looked down at Carly, taking a deep breath. "Are you alright, dulce?"

I could hear the beeping, it was loud and over the top and making my already pounding head pound. I tried to reach up to touch it but my hand felt more heavy. I slowly opened my blurry eyes, trying to focus in on why my hand felt the way it did. I could see the white, like a big flag. I had hurt myself. My wrist was broken and had a cast over it. I couldn't remember how I hurt myself.. or broke my wrist.. or why my damn head felt the way it did. I could barely remember the last few hours.

I just remembered dropping B off at the airport.. and then nothing. "Oh, God," I said, my eyes snapping open more. Maybe I was in a car accident.. what about.. "my baby.." I whispered, trying to weakly grab for the call button. I needed to know about my baby. "My baby.." I said it again, trying to fumble around with my good hand for the call button. I was so tired I could barely function and it didn't help that anytime I moved I hurt.

I headed down the hall toward Abigail's room. If only she'd stayed with me last night. If she hadn't ran off to be with Zhi Zhi, we would probably still be in bed, hopefully making love again. Well, maybe not. It was getting close to hotel check out time, so we wouldn't still be in bed, but hopefully I would have been able to convince her that she was where she was supposed to be with me and she would have stayed... we'd be together now.

But she had to go last night. I didn't fault her on that. I mean, I would go for family. I would do anything for my family, and honestly, not that she would, but I would go somewhere if Zhi Zhi called me. I knew Dante loved her. So whatever happened between the two of them last night had to be fixable. I would have gone to Dante had he called me last night. There isn't anyone of my friends that I probably wouldn't go to... Except for Guido...

But then again, we're not friends, not since I found out he was fucking my soul mate.I wanted to beat the fucker to a bloody pulp. It was all his fault my girl was here in the hospital. I swear to God, if something was wrong with my baby, I would kill him. He didn't deserve to live if he was the cause of my baby dying. I'd make sure of it.

I heard Abigail calling out as I approached the room, quickly running into her. Running into the room, I came up beside her, taking the hand she was reaching out with. "It's ok, baby. I'm here. I'm here." I knew she wasn't calling for me, but I was here for her and I wasn't going anywhere. "They're going to do an ultra sound on the baby, but you're alright baby. You're alright." Just the fact that she was awake and speaking was good enough for me. We had to find out about the baby, but I had to know she was ok first.

I watched Jackson run off, tears stinging in my eyes. I wasn't sure why I suddenly felt.. so angry.. so sad.. so hurt. But I did. I wasn't jealous of Abigail. She was hurt. But.. Jackson didn't even care.. he didn't care that me and Jeff were together. He barely blinked.. I felt a hatred for the situation I had put myself in seeping through my veins. All of this. All the pain. All the guilt. All of it was my fault. I shouldn't have slept with Jackson.. and I had and now I was pregnant and alone.. and Jeff and Jackson both loved Abby and neither loved me as much as they did her. "I'm fine." I said, brushing a tear away.

"I'm just glad Abby's okay. I'm sure the baby will be too." I rubbed my own arms and walked over to sit in a chair. "You know Jackson and I.. we've been trying something. Not being together. Not really.. but we've been trying something and he barely cared that you and I were together. He didn't even get jealous.. and this is what my head is worrying about. Why?" I swallowed hard, tearing blurring in my eyes.

"Why am I so selfish in such a horrible situation? Abby's hurt and all I can think of now is how much I hated that he didn't care.." I lowered my head in my hands sighing. "I can't win with her.. I need to find a guy that doesn't love her.. because I just can't win.. and be number one. With either of you."

I walked over, crouching down in front of her, and looking up at her. Placing my hands up on her knees, I smiled softly. "I am sorry about what happened today, and I am sorry for what has happened to lead us all up to this place. And most of all, I am sorry you got hurt."

I gave her knees a gentle squeeze. "But I want you to stop saying that I am more in love with Abigail than I am with you. I love you. Not less. Not more. But I love you. It is different from how I love Abigail, but that does not mean I do not love you. I never thought I would be able to love two women in my entire life, but I do love you."

I reached up, turning her face to face mine more. "And I love this baby," I told her, reaching forward to rub her stomach with my other hand. "And if she or he turns out to be my child, I would hope that we could try to work things out between us." I wasn't going to bring Abigail up in this instance. I was sure she was going to go back to Jackson sooner or later. But it wasn't that Carly was a consolation prize. She was anything but that. I loved her, and I wanted her to know that.

"Jackson," I said, my eyes filling with tears. "I'm not alright. I'm in a hospital bed. My wrist's broken and my head hurts. And they have to check to make sure my baby's okay. I'm not okay." I pulled the covers back. "I'm not alright. I need to get the doctor. He needs to tell me my baby's okay." I groaned when I felt the pain all over. "Damn it. Jackson, please, my baby. I have to know. Please!" I said, trying to tug at the IV in my arm. I knew I was acting crazy. But between the drugs and my fear I couldn't sit still.

I placed my hand over the IV, keeping her from pulling it out, looking up into her eyes, taking her face in my other hand. "Baby, just relax. Relax, ok?" I leaned in, kissing her forehead softly. "I will go get the doctor, ok?" I whispered, pulling back and looking into her eyes. "I will get the doctor. Just lay back. I don't want you getting hurt anymore, ok? Ok?" I kissed her lips quickly before helping her lay back down.

I turned and walked out into the hall, grabbing a nurse. "We need a doctor. My girlfriend needs to know how her baby is. She needs to have an ultrasound now. Do you understand?" I asked when the nurse remained standing in front of me. "Now! Not a minute. Not in a few. NOW! Go!" I was a little impatient myself. I tried to remain calm in front of Abigail, but this was my baby we were talking about. I had to know if she was alright too.

The nurse finally told me she was going to get the doctor now and I forced myself to accept that, even though I was sure that it would still take forever. Turning, I took a deep breath to calm myself before walking back into the room. I smiled, trying to show her that everything was alright. Walking back over to her, I sat on the bed and picked up her hand without the cast, pulling it up to my lips and brushing my lips over her knuckles.

"I got a nurse and she's going to go get a doctor. Now, please, just relax, or at least try to. I know it's hard. I do," I told her, nodding and smiling even more for her. "But everything is going to be alright. Did you want to pray with me? We can pray. God will take care of our baby. I know he will." I believed in God, and I believed he protected us and granted our prayers if we were worthy to receive them, and I knew our baby girl was worthy of receiving the blessings from our prayer.

"Don't touch me." I snapped, pushing his hand away. "You don't get to promise me those things because I don't believe you. I was weak last night. I was weak and lonely and I came to you and I gave in but I swear that's not happening again. We can't be some big happy family when you love Abigail. You're not getting it, are you?" I shook my head. "Of course not! You're a man after all! It's not about you loving her more or me more or whatever, it's about you loving her period. You shouldn't love her." I took a deep breath.

"You should love me. Only me. You shouldn't have been sleeping with her, for God knows how long all the while NOT sleeping with me because you said you wanted to take things slow. You weren't fair to me and you haven't been since you and I started whatever we were. You made me love you and all the while loved another woman!" I stood up. "My cousin no less! You were fucking my cousin and loving her! All the while making me believe I was the only one you wanted. I told you yesterday that if this baby was yours I'd never take he or she away from you.. but I don't want to be with you." I brushed a tear away. I hated crying and since this entire mess started it was all I was doing.

"In fact, I don't want to be with you or Jackson and mark my words, even if she picks you, in the end she'll always pick Jackson." I walked over to the vending machine. I hadn't eaten today and I was starving. I dug through my pockets, remembering that I hadn't brought my purse, the thing that had my money in it. I let my head lean against the glass of the vending machine sighing heavily.

I hung my head, letting my arms rest on the chair Carly had just vacated. I hated how she felt. I hated that I couldn't give her what she wanted. I had never meant to fall in love with Abigail. But she was right, I shouldn't have fallen in love with her when I was in love with Abigail. It wasn't fair to her. None of this was fair to her. She felt like she was getting the short end of the stick, and I felt horrible for that.

Standing up, I followed her over to the vending machine and took a deep breath. "I know you have not eaten yet today, but a vending machine will not give you the nutrients you or the baby needs. Come on. We can go down to the hospital cafeteria." I shook my head. "You really do not want to eat that stuff in there."

I didn't want her to feel like I was making decisions for her, but I was suggesting the cafeteria to her, because I knew what I was saying was true. She needed to have a good meal, not something hardly nutritional from the vending machine. She could have what ever she wanted from the cafeteria that they had. I just wanted her to be fed well.

I wanted to protest and say I needed to go get the doctor. Maybe if I was up and moving they'd work faster, but, I was so tired. I knew the second I stood up I'd fall right back down so I agreed and let him go. When he came back promising they were coming and kissing my hand I found myself smiling. "Even though," I started off, my voice weak. "you and I aren't together I can still count on you." I felt a tear roll down my cheek when something hit me.

Carly was in Jeff's bed. I remembered now that was exactly why I was upset. Jeff and Carly were together. Hypocritical yes. Emotional. Yes. But that didn't hurt any less. "I remember what happened. Jeff and Carly.. were together.. it upset me. I know that's very hypocritical of me. But they were and it upset me.."

I hated that she kept reminding me that we weren't together. As if I didn't have a constant reminder every single day. I knew we weren't together and it was worse than anything we've gone through in our whole lives. I loved her more than anything in this world, and I knew everything we've been through in the last few months has been my fault. I knew that, but it didn't make things better. When she said that she walked in on Jeff and Carly in bed together, I wasn't sure what I felt about that. I mean, I knew how my Little One felt about Jeff, and I wanted nothing more than for her to be happy. I knew Jeff made her happy. And if she and Jeff were back together, then Abigail and I could be back together. "I understand, baby, but we don't have to worry about that right now. Let's just focus on making you feel better and making sure the baby is alright." I would have said make sure MY baby was alright, but I didn't want to upset her even more. She didn't know who the father was and saying it was mine with no other chance of the Goomba being the father, even though that's how I felt, I didn't want to upset her, and I was sure it would.

I turned to look at him. "I don't have money to eat either. So I'm fine. And mind your own business, just because I might be carrying your kid doesn't mean you get to police my life, Goffredo." I walked away, sitting back in a chair. "It's fine. I'll just wait. And before you ask, no, I won't anything you buy. I don't want your money.. or your pity, whichever it is you plan on offering. Why don't you just go sit over across the waiting room and we'll leave each other alone?"

I walked over, standing in front of her, my hands on my hips. "You have not eaten all day, and whether or not you do not want to take money from me or take my pity, as you call it, you are pregnant, and despite what you may think, I love you and that child and I know you need to have a certain amount of nutrition for the day. And I also know if you do not eat, you will not feel well through out the day. Now, just for this moment, forget how upset you are with me and come with me to the cafeteria. If you will not eat for me, then at least remember that you are pregnant and you need to eat for the baby."

I nodded, sighing. I knew he didn't understand what I was feeling. I wasn't so sure, even though they lived together, that Jackson loved Carly. I mean, I knew he loved her, I just knew he wasn't in love with her. At least I didn't think so. And that wasn't about me being cocky, I just knew he didn't. I knew him that well. The doctor came in, pushing her big machine and I found myself smiling brightly. "Thank you for hurrying, doctor." I told her, using my free hand to take Jackson's. "Not that we had much of a choice with your husband over here." I felt awkward suddenly.

"He's not.. my.. eh..husband." She looked back at us as she flipped the machine on. "My mistake. Anyways, you wanna lay back completely pull your grown up and the covers back too?" I nodded, doing as she asked and baring my stomach to her. She squirted the cold stuff on my stomach, moving the wand around and looking at the screen. I turned my eyes to Jackson, holding his hand tight. I think I was so relived by the time I heard the heartbeat I cried. "Two healthy heartbeats." She said, smiling at me.

"Two? You mean mine and the baby's?" She laughed. "No two healthy baby heartbeats." My mouth fell open and my eyes stayed the size of saucers as I stared at her. "Two?" I asked again, causing her to nod and point to the screen. "See there, can you see the two little hearts on screen." I just stared at her like she was a three headed deer.

I had to let the way she said I wasn't her husband go. I knew she was still upset, even if we had both ... And I almost missed what the doctor had said about their being two heart beats. I would have really missed it if Abigail hadn't asked and the doctor clarified. Two baby heartbeats. I looked down at Abigail, kissing her forehead excitedly. "Two heartbeats! Two babies! We're having two babies!" I looked at the machine and then back at Abigail. "I'm so proud of you, baby! So proud!" I pressed my lips to hers, kissing her deeply. "I love you," I murmured against her lips, brushing her hair back from her face. "I love you."

"Ohhh I don't like you!" I said, standing up, stalking off down the hall toward the cafeteria. "You aren't using this baby to get your way for the next few months! I hope you know that!" I snapped a glare at him. "Rotten jerk, using the baby to get your way.." I folded my arms over my chest, looking forward and walking.

I came up behind her, shaking my head. "I am not using the baby to get my way. I am thinking of the baby. This is not for me I am getting you to eat. I am thinking of you and I am thinking of the baby. I know you need to eat and I know just how many calories you need per day to keep both you and the bambino healthy. You know I love you, and I love this baby just as much. I have to take care of you, and yes, you need to eat, even if you are upset with me. There is no reason to make the baby go hungry just because you and I are not getting along. Thank you for complying. For the baby. And for yourself."

"Proud?" I asked. "You're proud of me.. because I'm not proud at all." I let the lady wipe my stomach off. She told me there was no reason I couldn't go home today, signed my release forms, gave me an ultrasound of the... of...the.. babies and told me to take it easy, she'd send in a nurse with a wheelchair and left us alone. I felt so sick suddenly I couldn't think straight. "I can't believe this.. I'm not ready for two babies.. I'm barely ready for one.. I was scared before.. now.. Oh, god." I sat up slowly, using my free arm to grab his and make him look at me. "How can you be proud! There's TWO babies! TWO JACKSON!" Okay so I was freaking out just a tiny bit.

I took her face in both of my hands, making her look up at me, rubbing her cheek softly with one of my thumbs. "Two is only double the fun and double the love, baby." Leaning forward, I pressed my lips to her forehead. Pulling back, I smiled brightly. "Besides, you have me. I've been through this. Ok, so Kyle is only one child, but you know how much of a handful he can be, and I've raised him, aside from the wonderful help you've given me, pretty much on my own. We can do this!" I nodded to assure her. "I will be there for you, every step of the way. Plus," I paused for emphatic purposes on the plus, "we still have about 6 and a half months to go. We'll have plenty of time to get you ready for it. But trust me," I smiled, running my thumb over her bottom lip, "once they get here, you're going to love them more than life itself."

"I wouldn't make the baby not eat just because you and I aren't getting along.." I said, glaring at him over my shoulder. I got in line, taping my foot against the flooring and waiting for the damn line to move. "I just wanna eat, make sure Abby's okay and go home. Not that I'm even sure where home is anymore. I might call B and ask her if I can stay at her old place.. because I can't go back to Jackson.. and I'm not staying with you. So, I guess that's my only option."

"Things do not have to be like this for us, Carly." I started to make myself a plate with her. "I know I hurt you, and I will never forgive myself for that. I am just hoping that somewhere along the line, you and I can get back to being friends... at least being friends. I love you, and I want you to be happy more than anything in this world. I am sorry if I am not making you happy, and only making you miserable."

I sighed heavily, opening the packet of brown sugar to pour it on my oatmeal. I put the empty packet down and picked up the pint of milk, opening it and pouring it on as well before picking up the nut medley to sprinkle on top. I stirred around the milk and brown sugar into it before sprinkling the nuts over the top. I took a bite, looking over at the clock. I hoped Abigail was alright, but I wasn't going to talk about her with Carly, despite the fact she said she didn't want to talk. I knew the more I talked about Abigail, the more upset Carly got, and I didn't want that. I took a bite of my oatmeal and chewed it in silence.