Family time

Her funeral was tomorrow. Dante's baby's funeral was tomorrow. I wanted to go... to support him. But I didn't know how proper that would be or if I was even allowed. I was arrested on charges of their murder... But I wanted to be there for Dante, to support him. But today we were spending time together as a family. Dante, DJ and me. It had been forever since we'd been together like this. It was just barely starting to warm up a little, not that it ever really got cold here in Beverly Hills, but it wasn't 55 degrees anymore. Twenty degrees made a difference. We were going to tell DJ why Kylie wasn't around anymore and why Jacob wasn't ever going to be. "Baby," I told him gently after laying out his laptop meal from KFC, opening his mac and cheese for him, "Pops and I have something to tell you, and it might be kind of hard to explain."

I didn't want to tell my son the little brother he had been looking forward to having was gone.. how did you explain that to a five year old? How do you explain it to where it makes sense? It wasn't like Jacob was a pet we could explain away with running away.. this was child, a child he had been promised. I heard Bianca and smiled at her. "What's that, Mama?" He asked, picking up his fork and looking at her. "Buddy," He turned his eyes to me as I sat down my sandwich from KFC.

"Yes?" He asked. "Your mama and I are.. we have to explain something. It might make you sad. And if it does, you can give us a hug and it will feel better, I know your mama's hugs help me." He looked between us confused and I continued. "Your little brother Jacob.. he passed away." He stuffed some mac and cheese in his mouth, confused. "What's that mean?" I sighed, looking at Bianca. "It means he died. Do you know what died means?"

He raised his little eyebrow and shook his head no. "Well, it means you won't ever get to meet him. Not like we wanted." He set his fork down, his eyes watering, he was getting ready to pout. "Why not? Mama? That's not fair. I've been a good boy. I've helped Kylie.. I've been good. Like pops asked. Why can't I meet Jacob, mama?" It broke my heart all over again that I couldn't give my son the things I promised. Especially the little brother he wanted so badly.

He was asking me why his brother wasn't going to be here... I almost felt as though he were asking because it was my fault. I knew he didn't know what the rest of the world did, that I had been arrested for their murders, but he was too young to even understand that. I knew he wasn't accusing me of anything, but ... No buts. This was my son and he had faith in me, just like his pops did. "It's not your fault, baby." I knew Dante believed in Heaven, but I didn't know if I could say something like that to DJ because I didn't believe in that myself. "You are the most amazing little boy in the world, and it's not because of you that he's not coming. It's just that..." I bit my lip, trying to think about how I could explain it to him. "Do you remember Dumbo? And how the stork brought all the little baby animals to the mama animals?" He nodded his head, still doing his best not to cry. "Well, the stork can't bring Jacob. Because Kylie isn't here any more, the stork can't bring Jacob. The storks are supposed to bring to the babies to their mama's, but if the mama's aren't here any more, the stork isn't allowed to bring the baby." The stork was another of those "Santa Clause" type lies, and it was easier to say than telling him that Jacob went to a place I didn't believe in... How I came to that separation, I didn't know, but it made sense... more than heaven. Because he could understand the stork more than something he'd never seen as well.

I found myself smiling. Something only my son and Bianca could make me do in a time like this. She was so perfect with him. The way she explained something that made no sense to him so it did make sense. He seemed sad but a little less confused and responsible. "Where did Kylie go then, pops? Why didn't she stay to have Jacob delivered by the stork?" I took in a deep breath. "She had to this really nice place in the sky. It has the biggest beach, you remember Kylie saying how much she loved the beach?" He nodded. "It's in the sky?" I nodded.

"Yep, you know what it's called?" He shook his head no. "It's called Heaven, and she can swim, tan and live there for as long as she wants. She can't come back here or she would. But you know she loved you, right? And she really wanted you have your little brother? She just couldn't stay. And that's not your fault." He didn't seem satisfied with that answer much but he nodded anyways.

"I guess I shouldn't be so sad she and Jacob can't come to live with us. Not when mama's home, right?" I took a deep breath. "You can be sad if you want.. but you can also be as happy as you want with mama home. I know I am." I smiled over at Bianca, taking her hand and kissing it.

I swallowed, doing my best to smile for Dante. I knew he believed in Heaven, but I couldn't fake that for DJ. I moved my thumb to run over his lips after he kissed my hand. "We can be happy that I'm home, where I belong," I added, smiling a little more for Dante. "But tomorrow your Pops and I will be going to say goodbye to Kylie and to your little brother. Even though Jacob was never here, he's still going to have a farewell like they're giving to Kylie. And if you want, we can say goodbye for you too. You can make a card or something, if you'd like?"

"I can't go?" I took a deep breath, pulling back just a little from Bianca and picking up DJ to sit in my lap. "No, buddy, you can't, it's only for grownups but I think the card idea is a great one don't you?" He twisted in my lap to look back at me. "I sure do. Mama's a genius!" I smiled, nodding. "She sure is." I looked over at Bianca, smiling brightly at her.

I reached out and ran my fingers through his hair, scratching softly at the back of his head. I knew he enjoyed it almost as much as his pops did. "You can make it when you get home, baby." I smiled, pulling my hand back and smiling at both of them. "Right now, you need to eat your laptop meal before it gets cold." DJ nodded, turning and wrapping his arms around Dante, giving him a tight hug before climbing over and wrapping his arms around me. He hugged me tightly and then turned back to climb over to his food. I smiled softly at Dante, reaching over and taking his hand, rubbing my thumb over the back of his hand.

"That went easier than I expected." I said quietly, watching DJ dig into his mac and cheese. "But I guess that's why we work so well as a team, huh? If one of us can't do something alone we always have the other to help make it easier." I kissed her hand again before leaning in to kiss her lips. "Thank you. I love you."

"I'd do anything for you, babe," I told him, speaking just loud enough so only he could hear it. "We've always worked well together." And there would have never been a moment that we didn't if I would have stayed with him and supported him the whole time Kylie was alive. Maybe she'd still be alive and I wouldn't be on death row for her murder. And then Dante would have his new baby and DJ would have his baby brother. I picked up my cheesy bacon bowl and took the lid off of it before picking up my fork to eat. "Eat. before it gets cold." I giggled softly before taking a bite.

"Yes, boss." I said with a slight smirk and picking up my chicken sandwich snacker. I took a bite, my eyes narrowing in on something not far from us.. something.. no... someone. Someone who was spying.. and taking pictures. I decided to ignore it for now. But if they got any closer, or said anything I wasn't sure how well my temper would hold. I glanced over at Bianca, leaning in to whisper in her ear. "We got company."

I pulled down my fork from my mouth as he leaned in to whisper in my ear and I turned my head slightly to listen to him. After he told me we weren't alone, I turned my head in the way he was looking. Closing my eyes, I let a slowly breath go. This would happen. The first day I decide to leave the house after being released from jail, albeit with an ankle monitor, nonetheless, that I was wearing long pants to hide. "I don't want to just go," I whispered back to him, "but this is the first time we've really spent any time together doing anything in a long time, and I really don't think DJ would like it if we took this away from him too."

"We aren't leaving. We have every right to be here. Just like anyone else here right now. DJ wanted to come here for a picnic in the park and that's what we're doing." I kissed her cheek and took a new bite. "Just ignore them." I said when I swallowed. "So, DJ, wanna tell your mama what you learned last week?" He smiled big. "I learned how to ride a big boy bike. I fell a lot but pops told me not to give up and I got it!"

I felt self conscious with the paparazzi watching us. I wanted to have a pleasant outing with my family, but he was intruding. I smiled brightly over at DJ. "I'm so proud of you, baby! You didn't get hurt when you fell?" He shook his head, picking up his drumstick. "No, Mama! I'm a big boy, remember?" He took a big bite of his chicken, still talking with his mouth full. "I can show you how I ride when we get home, Mama!" I smiled for him, still not eating my own food since the paparazzi showed up. "I would love that, baby!"

Even though I was only half enjoying the conversation between my son and his mother, mainly because I was watching the man who was moving closer with his damn camera, I tried to chime in too. "I got his first time on video, so not only can you see the real deal but the first time too." I glared at the man, who finally saw that I saw him. He didn't let up though, he kept snapping away.

I smiled nervously over at Dante, reaching up to pull my glasses off the top of my head and slide them over my eyes, my breathing speeding up. "I really want to see that..." I had never felt so self conscious with the media before. Not since that day at the spa, not since everything that's happened since then. "DJ, come here, baby," I told him, reaching out for him. "Mama?" he questioned, his mouth full of chicken. "Please, baby. Mama needs you. You can bring your food. Come sit over here with your pops and me." He was confused, but he picked up his food and climbed over to sit down between us, still facing the two of us. "Thank you, baby. You're a good boy, you know that?" I leaned forward, kissing the top of his head, running my fingers through his hair as I let my lips linger on his head.

"Miss. Parisi.." The man said as another one came out with a camera, filming. "Could you answer a few questions for us?" It had taken him a minute but the slimy bastard was finally coming forward for what he wanted. I looked down at our lunch, over at DJ, and back at the men. "Seriously! In the middle of our lunch! With our son right there! Do you have no shame??" I asked.

I swallowed hard, closing my eyes tightly behind my eyes. They were never going to let me go on this. They would hound me for the rest of my life. I could see it now. But if Dad can't convince a judge and jury that I didn't do it, then I'd be locked up for life, if I didn't get the death penalty. "Oh, come on! Just a few questions. I'm sure you haven't lied to the boy and told him that you didn't kill his baby brother or sister when you killed it's mother." I looked down at DJ who was turning his head back from the camera man to look at me. "Mama?" I licked my lips, stammering, "I..." I shook my head, still unable to find any words. "I..."

I glared roughly at the man. "If you don't get out of here.." I was trying to hold back my anger. DJ was already having a difficult time. He didn't get what these awful questions meant. "Bianca, pick up DJ and turn him to face away from us, please." I told her, standing up and heading toward the man. "One last time. Leave or I'll make you leave." The man smiled. "Oh, will you? Did you take part in the murder of your girlfriend and her child so you wouldn't have to be forced to leave her?" I pulled back my fist and punched the reporter in his mouth. "That's my child you son of a bitch! Bianca's innocent! It was a terrible accident! You don't know anything!!"

I clenched my eyes closed tightly as I held DJ in my arms, his legs wrapped around my waist and his head buried in my shoulder after I pulled it down against me. I turned my head into his neck and swallowed hard. "It's ok, baby. Just hold onto Mama." I took a slow breath and looked up at Dante. "The world is going to have a field day with this, Dante," the photographer said, scrambling around on the ground for his camera like a pig in mud. "And to think, this was all just a game to you, like playing football, right?" he asked after picking up his camera and starting to stand up. "It's a shame you're actually better at playing ball than being a good example to your son." My eyes widened and I held my hand over DJ's ear, holding his head to my chest. "Dante is an amazing father, and he would have been to his other son!" The vulture turned back my way, snapping more pictures. "Oh! The poor, defenseless lamb does have a voice! But then again, I was there when you tossed the poor girl in front of that car. Neither she nor the driver saw it coming. But then again, that was probably part of both of your plan all along, right? Like snakes, hiding in the grass, striking when they people least expect it!"

"I swear you are asking for me to hit you again." I said through gritted teeth. "Shut your mouth." He went to say something else and I punched him again, taking his camera from him and busting it. I tossed it across the park and grabbed his face. "Leave me and my family alone. Do you hear me?" I gripped at his neck when I felt a pair of hands grabbing at me and tugging me away. I turned in time to see it was another reporter. "Don't make me..." I said but he stopped me. "I mean you no harm. I see Gary was out of line and I promise I'm jut going to take him away from here." I took in a sharp breath. "You better!"

I watched as the new reporter grabbed the one off the ground and they both scurried off, both of them yammering as they left. I slowly walked over to Dante, placing hand on his shoulder. DJ pulled his head up and looked over at his pops. Reaching out to him, I let him move into his pops' arms as I stepped closer to him and wrapped my arms around both of them. "Are you ok, Pops?" DJ asked quietly and I buried my head into Dante's shoulder, holding my boys tightly in my arms.

I hugged my beautiful family tight. "Yeah, buddy, I'm okay." I kissed his head before giving his mother a kiss on hers. "I promise." I pulled back and smiled at both of them. "How about we go home and show mama that tape?" He nodded happily. "Can we?" I nodded. "We sure can." I gave Bianca a kiss on her lips. I didn't want to leave so quickly but at least there we wouldn't be harrassed.

I smiled up at him, running my fingers through the back of his hair. I loved him, so much, more than I ever thought possible, and losing him showed me that I needed to do everything now that I've got him back that I can. Taking a deep breath, I turned to look at DJ. "Come on, baby. Can you pack up your laptop meal. If you're careful, I'm sure Pops won't mind if you eat in the car." DJ looked at his pops, eyes wide. "Can I, Pops?"

I smiled. "You sure can." I said with a bright smile, leaning down to help get out stuff back in the basket while DJ got his own stuff. I packed everything away, tossing the basket over my shoulder and taking Bianca's hand as DJ walked in front of us. I kissed the side of her head as we walked. "Don't let those people bother you for one second. They don't know you. Not like I do." I told her, smiling.

I looked up at him as we followed DJ to Dante's Benz. "No one has ever known me like you do, babe." I shook my head slightly. "Never." I turned my head and laid my head on his shoulder, wrapping my arms more around him, hugging him to me as we walked. DJ turned back to us when we got up to the car. "This is going to be awesome, Mama," DJ asked, almost jumping up and down with excitement. "You're going to think it's so amazing that I can ride a bike now! Isn't she, Pops?"